Pipikin (round trip)
I'd never done Pipikin before. I'd heard lots about it, mainly the tightness and squeezing involved. Isn't this what the squeeze machine was all about? Isn't this what we trained for? I can only speak for myself when I say I felt ready. All those bruised hips and scraped skin finally seemed to have a purpose.
So we trekked across the Yorkshire Dales, fought through jungles of ferns for what seemed like an eternity and finally, we arrive at a small clearing with a small hole hidden beneath a rock. I smoothly slipped down inside and immediately found myself at the top of a large pitch. I descended with little grace (simply because I don't have any) to a rocky floor where we waited for the rest of the group.
It was me, Todd, Alex, Rhiannon and Caleb. We had decided to stay at Bull Pot Farm for the week so we could finally get around to some caves that had been on our list for ages. This was the first day, we were in high spirits and excited for the adventures of the coming days.
There was only one way on from this cavern, a wide crawl. The crawl was short and ended with a small hole. I poked my head through to assess the situation and I was frekin' glad I had. I felt like I had poked my head out and suddenly found myself peering into an elevator shaft while crouched in a small hole in the wall. There was a scaffolding bar across and another small hole on an adjoining wall.That was the way on. Luckily there was a rope there and I headed out feet first to sit on the scaffolding bar. I wasn't so excited when Rhiannon shouted back up the hole in the wall that I should head down feet first. How the hell was I meant to get into that hole feet first when I'm only standing on a frekin' scaffolding bar Rhiannon! There was a bit of gymnastics, but I managed it and slid fairly easily down a narrow passage with an almost right angle bend into a small chamber. Yet did I know that this chamber would become my home for the next hour or so. Also yes I would also advise feet first too avoid fallen head first down a hole in the ground.
Alex was the only person after me. He didn't seem too keen to the downwards slide into the unknown. I tried to encourage him through. There was a bit of back forth. I saw a welly, it retreated, a hand followed by a head, they retreated too, the welly was back, then another, then they were gone. Back again! There was a lot of huffing and grunting. Some legs followed the wellies. He was half way. There was a cry, some leg waving and he retreated again after some wiggling.
At this point I called for Caleb's assistance. I was going to go back up and see if I could help from the top. I dunno if you've ever tried to climb up a rough tight fitting slide that makes a right angle bend. It's not the easiest of things. Caleb was convinced I was attempting to bend myself the wrong way, so I let him give it a try. Fair does to him he did manage it.
So with Caleb at the top and me at the bottom, Alex attempted the squeeze again. It seemed to be going well, his wellies appeared, his calves and thighs, I could even see his torso. Then all progress stopped and the cave filled with his screams. They echoed through the cave alerting the rest of the group of the conundrum we had now found ourselves in. He was stuck. Legs were kicking, I could hear the panic in his voice. I tried to calm him. I stoked his leg and told him it was all going to be okay and just needed to take a moment to calm down. Have you ever tried to comfort a pair of legs sticking out a hole in the wall? It's quite difficult. I offered a chocolate bar, food always help distract me when I'm in compromising positions. I don't think the sincerity carried through the squeeze well as it was met with accusations of being patronising and a hand wiggled through the small space that remained around Alex's body and swore at me. I was shocked. I was only trying to help.
There was a lot of pushing and limb waving and words of encouragement as we attempted to get Alex out of the hole. I wiggled my way as far into the space as I could to push on his feel, while Caleb pulled on his hands. It felt like that scene from Winnie the Pooh, when Pooh gets stuck in the tree.
I called for the others to make their way back up the cave, because once Alex was free from his rock prison we were gonna head out. Turns out the rest of the squeezes weren't so pleasant to get back up either, but I didn't have to deal with that. While doing so I head screams of ecstasy "Yes. Yes! YES!" I could hear the excitement increase from the source. I hoped this was the excitement from a rescue mission and not some new fetish Caleb and Alex had discovered. I rushed back to Alex's legs and climbed back into the hole. His legs waving, it was a dangerous position, but I let him kick me and just took it. After all he was blocking my way out this cave. It didn't take too long to get him free and he disappeared from sight. Then it came, a manic laughter boomed through the cave. It was Alex. It was truly the creepiest laugh I've ever heard. I tried to ask what the hell was happening, has Alex finally gone mad? But my shouts were drowned by Alex's hysteria.
It turns out in Alex's rush to leave that hole, he had missed the scaffolding bar that was the only thing stopping from falling down the shaft and was hanging by his cowstails on the safety line. Rhiannon and I exchanged concerned looks. I think it was time to get Alex out the cave.
Overall the trip took us about 2 hours and we got about 30 meters into the cave and then left, this will hereby be known as the Pipikin round trip. No body died and we didn't need to call cave rescue, all in all a good trip. Though I have decided I never want to leave via Pipikin. When going through squeezes it's always best to work with gravity rather than against it.
So we trekked across the Yorkshire Dales, fought through jungles of ferns for what seemed like an eternity and finally, we arrive at a small clearing with a small hole hidden beneath a rock. I smoothly slipped down inside and immediately found myself at the top of a large pitch. I descended with little grace (simply because I don't have any) to a rocky floor where we waited for the rest of the group.
It was me, Todd, Alex, Rhiannon and Caleb. We had decided to stay at Bull Pot Farm for the week so we could finally get around to some caves that had been on our list for ages. This was the first day, we were in high spirits and excited for the adventures of the coming days.
There was only one way on from this cavern, a wide crawl. The crawl was short and ended with a small hole. I poked my head through to assess the situation and I was frekin' glad I had. I felt like I had poked my head out and suddenly found myself peering into an elevator shaft while crouched in a small hole in the wall. There was a scaffolding bar across and another small hole on an adjoining wall.That was the way on. Luckily there was a rope there and I headed out feet first to sit on the scaffolding bar. I wasn't so excited when Rhiannon shouted back up the hole in the wall that I should head down feet first. How the hell was I meant to get into that hole feet first when I'm only standing on a frekin' scaffolding bar Rhiannon! There was a bit of gymnastics, but I managed it and slid fairly easily down a narrow passage with an almost right angle bend into a small chamber. Yet did I know that this chamber would become my home for the next hour or so. Also yes I would also advise feet first too avoid fallen head first down a hole in the ground.
Alex was the only person after me. He didn't seem too keen to the downwards slide into the unknown. I tried to encourage him through. There was a bit of back forth. I saw a welly, it retreated, a hand followed by a head, they retreated too, the welly was back, then another, then they were gone. Back again! There was a lot of huffing and grunting. Some legs followed the wellies. He was half way. There was a cry, some leg waving and he retreated again after some wiggling.
At this point I called for Caleb's assistance. I was going to go back up and see if I could help from the top. I dunno if you've ever tried to climb up a rough tight fitting slide that makes a right angle bend. It's not the easiest of things. Caleb was convinced I was attempting to bend myself the wrong way, so I let him give it a try. Fair does to him he did manage it.
So with Caleb at the top and me at the bottom, Alex attempted the squeeze again. It seemed to be going well, his wellies appeared, his calves and thighs, I could even see his torso. Then all progress stopped and the cave filled with his screams. They echoed through the cave alerting the rest of the group of the conundrum we had now found ourselves in. He was stuck. Legs were kicking, I could hear the panic in his voice. I tried to calm him. I stoked his leg and told him it was all going to be okay and just needed to take a moment to calm down. Have you ever tried to comfort a pair of legs sticking out a hole in the wall? It's quite difficult. I offered a chocolate bar, food always help distract me when I'm in compromising positions. I don't think the sincerity carried through the squeeze well as it was met with accusations of being patronising and a hand wiggled through the small space that remained around Alex's body and swore at me. I was shocked. I was only trying to help.
There was a lot of pushing and limb waving and words of encouragement as we attempted to get Alex out of the hole. I wiggled my way as far into the space as I could to push on his feel, while Caleb pulled on his hands. It felt like that scene from Winnie the Pooh, when Pooh gets stuck in the tree.
 |
| Caleb helping pull Alex out |
 |
| Me being useful |
I called for the others to make their way back up the cave, because once Alex was free from his rock prison we were gonna head out. Turns out the rest of the squeezes weren't so pleasant to get back up either, but I didn't have to deal with that. While doing so I head screams of ecstasy "Yes. Yes! YES!" I could hear the excitement increase from the source. I hoped this was the excitement from a rescue mission and not some new fetish Caleb and Alex had discovered. I rushed back to Alex's legs and climbed back into the hole. His legs waving, it was a dangerous position, but I let him kick me and just took it. After all he was blocking my way out this cave. It didn't take too long to get him free and he disappeared from sight. Then it came, a manic laughter boomed through the cave. It was Alex. It was truly the creepiest laugh I've ever heard. I tried to ask what the hell was happening, has Alex finally gone mad? But my shouts were drowned by Alex's hysteria.
It turns out in Alex's rush to leave that hole, he had missed the scaffolding bar that was the only thing stopping from falling down the shaft and was hanging by his cowstails on the safety line. Rhiannon and I exchanged concerned looks. I think it was time to get Alex out the cave.
Overall the trip took us about 2 hours and we got about 30 meters into the cave and then left, this will hereby be known as the Pipikin round trip. No body died and we didn't need to call cave rescue, all in all a good trip. Though I have decided I never want to leave via Pipikin. When going through squeezes it's always best to work with gravity rather than against it.
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